2012, a summary (part 2).

Read part 1 here.


July was devoted to my social life. I hit the 15 lbs lost mark, lifted even heavier. Became an official full time employee at my job. Did the usual things: D&D, trivia, crafting, martial arts. It’s almost hard to believe how happy I was then. Oh, and I almost got into a bar fight one night with a belligerent bitch who was shouting fightin’ words at me. That was pretty cool.

I made a really big decision in July, too: I began the hunt for a house.

Favorite Facebook post(s):

  • “Tapi-Tapi” is a really cute name for a technique in Kali of defending yourself against someone who is trying to stab you in the throat with a knife.
  • The highlight of my day award goes to the new girl at the coffee shop: “Um this is going to sound really weird, but has anyone ever told you you look just like Scarlett Johansson?”
  • So apparently I’m buying a house. That sounds like a very adult thing to do so I’m naturally disinclined to proceed, but the process has already started so I guess I might as well go through with it even though I’m terrified.

Favorite picture(s):

We were really drunk.

“If you sit anywhere in the Oregon District long enough, someone will start playing Tom Waits.”


Ah, Birthmonth. I celebrated my Big 2-3 with no fewer than five events. I literally spent this entire month celebrating myself and forcing everyone I knew to celebrate with me. I know, it’s awful and self-absorbed and horribly egotistical, but I had a lot of fun and I think everyone else did too.

My sister, mother, and I went to a yoga retreat in Peebles, Ohio. I was wary because, as a lifter, I kind of hate yoga. But I also don’t say no to road trips into the remote wilderness. As predicted, the adventurous side of me won out over my yoga-hating side. Good thing too because it was a really relaxing weekend in a beautiful resort with amazing food. The biggest lesson I learned there was when our yoga instructor said, “The people who don’t have patience for yoga are the people who need it most.”

I started and ended my search for a house in about five minutes. I’m a very decisive person and it was a no-brainer. In fact, my only hesitation was that the house I chose was too nice and I felt guilty that some punk-ass kid would buy it up instead of a nice little family. I mean, 1,400 square feet? Recent renovations? Three bedrooms? A jerk like me deserves a bungalow in a bad part of town, not the by-comparison castle that I ended up with. Luckily, my realtors knocked some sense into me and my mother aptly pointed out that I had already decorated the entire thing in my head, which, she said, was how she knew I’d already committed to buying it despite my illogical hesitations.

Favorite Facebook post(s):

  • Fitness friends: What’s up with the Greek yogurt fad? I’m trying it for the first time right now and it’s disgusting. It tastes like old sour cream and feet. I eat a lot of gross health food for the sake of protein but even I have my limits.
  • I’m going to some place called Peebles, Ohio this weekend for a yoga retreat (it’s really just an excuse to eat a lot and wear yoga pants all weekend [which I guess is what I would be doing anyway]) with my sister and mother. We’ve been told that there’s no cell reception where we’re going, so if I normally text you or message you on Facebook, don’t be alarmed when I don’t reply this weekend and assume that I’m dead and/or I hate you. I mean, I might hate you, but it’s unlikely that I’ll be dead.
  • Cool thing of today: Walking down Ludlow toward work texting. Guy stops in front of me so that I almost run into him. I look up. He looks me straight in the eye, smiles and says, “Hey, baby. You have a blessed weekend.” Creepy? Maybe. Awesome? Yes.
  • Today, best day ever? I had a wonderful morning. I didn’t sleep. I played in Photoshop for four hours. I drank too much coffee. I finished a book at Panera while eating macaroni and cheese. I got all dressed up. And now I get to go hang out with some amazing people and do what I do best: throwing a massive party for no apparent reason and boozing it up.
  • From what I remember, I had a really great time last night. Thank you so much to everyone who came out to celebrate my birthday with me. I hope everyone had fun and I appreciate how polite you all were for not mentioning the shameless narcissism inherent in throwing one’s own birthday party. I look forward to throwing many more parties for even less important events when I move into my house (think Another Month Zombie Free!, There Was a Sale on Chips Ahoy Cookies and I Bought a Ton of Them Will You Help Me Eat Them?, and Sometimes When I’m in the Elevator I Jump So I Can Stay in the Air a Split Second Longer parties). Again, thank you. I adore you all and I feel lucky to know such great people.
  • For once I have no plans tonight so I’m just going to sleep until I wake up and it will be wonderful.

Favorite picture(s):

For lunch, I ate a turkey sandwich at one of my favorite dives while listening to this guy play acoustic Rolling Stones covers and reading Jean-Paul Sartre’s Nausea. Couple this with copious Instagramming and telling the world about it from my iPhone via not one but four social networking sites probably makes me a hipster. Sigh. I always knew this realization would happen.


Meditation tipi at the yoga retreat.

Birthday dinner with seester and bff.

Birthday dinner #8,375,936,749,505,736. With sombrero!


For a lot of people, finding a house is the hard part. For me, the aftermath of that decision was the worst. September was spent frantically finalizing all the little details of my house purchase and moving in. I’d go into more detail, but I’ll probably write a full post about it to help other young single people through the process.

I also started watching Doctor Who. And then I got irrationally fixated with David Tennant because when I get stressed, I distract myself with meaningless obsessions (like all four years of college).

Favorite Facebook post(s):

  • I feel like doing something productive right now, so I think I’ll just go back to sleep until it goes away.
  • Spent my last $2 on a cream soda. Worth it.
  • Highlight of my day award goes to the little girl riding her bike around my garage who said, “I like your earrings.” You got style, kid.
  • Moving update #1: One of my movers just called my ironing board a “Puerto Rican surf board.” There goes 2% of your tip, pal.
  • Moving update #2: The same mover just complained about getting dirt on his shoes. Here’s an idea: don’t wear your goddamn Air Jordans to work.
  • Moving update #3: The only thing in my fridge (Fridgy) is alcohol. Also, Moving Day means I get to start drinking at noon.
  • Moving update #4: It is done. Time to eat and drink all the things.

Favorite picture(s):

My house!

“It’s finally done. I’m 23 years old. I have a degree and a career. And now I’ve bought a house in my favorite city. I took a joyride through Dayton to celebrate (I actually just got lost) and I realized that through this entire endeavor, not a single person doubted me. No one told me I was too young or too irresponsible or that I wasn’t ready. It’s an amazing feeling to have that kind of support. So I’d like to thank all of you for the kind words and support you’ve given me over the past couple months. I really wouldn’t have had the courage to do this without you.”

“All moved in! … :(“


October was an exciting month. I moved into my house and spent a grotesque amount of money decorating it (it’s still not done though), but I guess that was the fun part.

An old friend from high school posted on Facebook one day asking if anyone wanted to go to a Fiona Apple concert with her in Louisville, KY. I liked her post, so she wrote on my wall asking if I wanted to go. I totally did. So that’s exactly what happened, and it was a fantastic weekend. We had a beautiful suite in a bed and breakfast, Fiona was fantastic, and I got my first tattoo! Along with Bronycon, it was one of the best weekends of the year.

I also threw my first house party, which was Halloween-themed. It was a crazy time and really set the standard for my future house parties. The costumes were awesome and people danced and drank and the next morning I had an awful hangover but it was totally worth it.

Favorite Facebook post(s):

  • It’s an odd feeling, coming home to a dozen Mexican men in my back yard. But at least my roof won’t collapse now. I realize that out of context, this is probably confusing.
  • I just had to walk around the block because a dude was pissing in the stairwell I use to get to my car. During that walk I saw a woman in a bright orange pantsuit. She looked like an escaped inmate. I am 600% done with today.
  • I don’t understand the point of putting up Halloween decorations in East Dayton. All the houses already look haunted.
  • Hell is being exhausted but every time you fall asleep, you suffocate, wake yourself back up, and the entire time you have “Amish Paradise” stuck in your head.
  • Yesterday I made my doctor go “wooow” because I have infected tonsils the size of ping pong balls. Today I had to work in a skyscraper during Superstorm Sandy (the building sways and it’s terrifying). Someone called me fat. Got ditched for lunch. Puked at work. Aaand after getting fed up with everything and leaving work early, despite having a decent evening, still managed to fall down my stairs and hurt my back. I am 800% done.

Favorite picture(s):

Here’s a conversation I had this morning…
Me: [Walks by two bricklayers.]
Bricklayer 1: Hey! Hey, you got any tips?
Me: What?
Bricklayer 1: You know, tips. Wisdom. Advice.
Me: …Just try to make it through the day.
Bricklayer 1: [Doesn’t know how to react.]
Me: [Walks away.]
Debbie Downer strikes again!
I guess the bricklayers made it through their day. I mean, unless they trapped themselves in there.

“I get that they’re trying to do something for breast cancer awareness, but it just looks like someone got murdered in the Courthouse Square fountain.”

Coffee with roommate!

Geronimo, bitches. (Yes I know that’s 10’s screwdriver.)

First tattoo, fully healed. It says, “For who would bear the whips and scorns of time/But that the dread of something after death?” from Hamlet.


November was a continuation of getting settled into my house and constant socializing. Life got even more awesome when that friend I went to Kentucky with decided to move in with me! I decorated my living room to, “look like a Wes Anderson film” according to one of my friends (best compliment ever!) and I did that by painting, reupholstering my old chairs, and buying some vintage ones that I painted. I still have to find a buffet and some decor, but for now it’s minimal and serves its purpose.

I threw my housewarming party, which was a blast from what I can remember. My house was thoroughly warmed and I can only hope everyone who attended it had as good a time as I did.

Favorite picture(s):

“In honor of my dad’s would-be 61st birthday, I’ve devoted today to miscellaneous home improvement projects. I may also buy myself a pair of shoes, because buying himself a pair of shoes on someone else’s birthday is totally something he would (and did) do.”

Before and after.

Completed dining room.


Ah, December was the grand finale of the year. I went on a trip with my best friend that we called our Tour of the South. We spent the better part of a week in New Orleans, then a Southern plantation, and lastly a night in Birmingham. It was a fantastic week filled with some of the best food I’ve ever eaten, elaborate history lessons, and getting Lucille, my Xenomorph tattoo.

I get a lot of attention for my tattoo, so I’ll probably devote an entire post to it later, but to sum up the experience: I found an incredibly talented tattoo artist, he drew up the design and slapped it on my leg. Four hours and a lot of pain later, Lucille was born.

I also threw a fun little holiday party in December (you’re probably noticing a pattern now) for all of my out-of-town friends who were in town for a bit.

I finally had to say goodbye to my amazing year, and I had a feeling that 2013 would be pretty terrible (so far, mostly correct). The ominous feeling I had was confirmed when my sister got hit by a car shortly before Christmas, but being the badass that she is, still threw us a delightful Christmas morning nevertheless.

Now we’ve come full-circle. New Years I spent in the care of my best friend because I’d fallen sick with a tremendous flu. Two years in a row, I’ve welcomed the new year with delirious illness, although I guess I should be grateful that this year it wasn’t my fault.

Favorite Facebook post(s):

  • Today begins a week of excessive Facebook posting. We have over 25 hours worth of audiobooks read by David Tennant, so this trip is already the best ever.
  • Apparently Mississippi is just a vast land of nothingness. Google Maps shows no restaurants or gas stations, there are no street lights, and when I tried to tag myself somewhere, Facebook came up with “No nearby locations.” Despite all that, though, it’s still better than New Jersey.
  • East Dayton seems so much less threatening after being asked by a stripper on Bourbon Street to try out Amateur Hour. Speaking of, happy birthday, sister!
  • I never think of it when I’m here, but whenever I come back from being out of town, I realize the entirety of Downtown Dayton smells like Black & Milds.

Favorite picture(s):

Jackson Square Garden

“I am eating beignets at Cafe Du Monde. Right now. That is what is happening.”

At John Besh’s Restaurant August (from top left to bottom right): The Winter Pimm; velouté of acorn squash and apple with gulf shrimp; gulf sheepshead poele with pumpkin custard, pearl barley, and brown butter; devil’s food cake with cherry, chocolate mousse, and pistachio ice cream. I’m not exaggerating when I say that this was the best dining experience I’ve ever had.

Hello, Lucille. This was done by Neal Aultman of Electric Ladyland Tattoo.

Next year’s Christmas card.

A summary.

2012 was the best year of my life. I made a ton of friends. I traveled all over the country. I got my first full-time job. I trimmed down a bit. I bought a house. I got two tattoos. I read good books and watched good movies. I spent time with the people I love and appreciated every minute of it. I learned that I don’t have to have a 9 to 5 job and frozen dinners every night, that being single doesn’t mean I’m alone, and that I am not defined by my career, my relationships, or my passions. I learned that this world is world is worth exploring, people are worth knowing, and life is worth living. If the rest of my life is anything like 2012, I’ll consider myself the luckiest person in the world.

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